“Great band, good bar, but I’m never going back.”
Location: Bar, The Ugly Mug
Time: Night (7:30pm-12am)
Great band, good bar, but I’m never going back. While I was there, a man who came by himself was lurking around the dance floor making women uncomfortable. After moving away from him multiple times, I felt a hand slide up the back of my dress and grope me. After telling my friends about him and telling him to his face myself that he needed to get out, the man left but returned a few minutes later. Twenty minutes later, another girl in our group rushed into the circle looking upset and said the guy had made her uncomfortable.
At this point, I went to two large men in polo shirts in the back who I took to be bouncers. They weren’t, but when I told them what happened, they immediately stood up and one of them walked me over to the bar manager. I was instantly soothed that these guys understood that what happened was really messed up and and had my back without any questions–I am really grateful to them. I told the manager what happened and he said he would handle it. As we walked away, the manager told my new friend “Not to do anything” and to “let him handle it.”
I walked back and told my sister they were going to kick him out. But then five minutes passed, and nothing happened. By this point, the man who had groped me 30 minutes ago was emboldened–he was back to leering at me from across to the room. Then, I saw two guys come out from behind the bar and was relieved they were finally coming for the guy, but one grabbed a rag and the other grabbed a check and I realized that no, in fact, the management of the bar did not have my back.
Finally, the manager I had spoken with came out from behind the bar and stood at the back of the room. I couldn’t imagine what he was possibly waiting for. A minute passed. I walked up to him and said, “Are you…waiting for the song to end?” And he said, “No, first I’m watching.” So fifteen minutes after I spoke with this guy, I turned around around in disbelief and told my sister that, now I really did want to leave.
As soon as I grabbed my bag and headed down the stairs, I heard them begin to kick the guy out. But it was too late. I hope the manager doesn’t feel like he did the right thing, because he didn’t. If anyone had been watching the dance floor in the first place, they would’ve seen women moving away from this guy like pins from a bowling ball. But they weren’t, and so he groped me. After the fact, the manager’s priorities were (1) wrapping up a few drink orders, and (2) making sure this guy got a fair chance to finish his dancing before, god forbid, he asked him to leave the bar. He even prohibited the guy who had my back from the beginning from making the guy leave immediately, which I’m sure he would have done.
Making his patrons feel safe was clearly not a priority. Honestly the worst part of the whole experience was how the manager handled it. I felt incredibly disappointed and disempowered. I imagine the guy who groped me felt pretty good about it.
Submitted 5/13/18 by “BW”
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