“I ran after him to confront him, and he turned around [and] punched me in the face.”

Location:  14th & U Street NW - Outside McDonalds
Time: Late Night (12am-5am)

I had been getting a lot of guys calling out to me all night and I was tired of it. I was with 3 friends waiting for a cab when a man called out to my friend from inside his car something along the lines of “hey baby, want a ride?” When I told her to turn around and ignore it, he called me a “fat bitch.” Out of frustration, and yes it was a mistake, I walked over to his car and dumped my cup of soda all over him before he drove away.

About 10 minutes later, still waiting for a cab, the man, who was middle aged and about twice my size, walked up from nowhere and dumped a drink over me, again calling me a bitch. I ran after him to confront him, and he turned around, punched me in the face, grabbed my shoulders, and threw me to the ground so my head slammed against the pavement. He ran off, and the only thing any of the 50+ people waiting at the corner and bus stop did was help me pick up my glasses.

The McDonalds security guard didn’t believe me at first and then told me I needed to find the police because he couldn’t do anything. The police, who were very hard to track down, recommended I not file a police report because they would have to take me in because I assaulted him first.

Submitted on 11/13/12 by “CEO”

Do you have a personal experience with gender-based public sexual harassment or assault?
Submit your story to help raise awareness about the pervasiveness and harmful effects of street harassment. All submissions are posted anonymously unless otherwise specified.

If you experience or have experienced sexual harassment on the DC Metro system:
Please consider reporting to Metro Transit Police: www.wmata.com/harassment; 202-962-2121.

 

When Standing Up to Sexual Harassment Makes You a B*tch

By Renee Davidson

I recently enjoyed my lunch break by picking up books at MLK Library, located in Gallery Place/Chinatown in Northwest DC.  A few steps after I left MLK to return to work, an older man walked briskly toward me on the sidewalk, pointing his finger as he approached. “You’re sexy,” he said, continuing to point at me as he passed.

Stop harassing women,”  I said. I didn’t turn around to see his reaction. A young man waking beside me chuckled. I wasn’t laughing. In my work clothes with my books, I immediately felt embarrassed and objectified by what he said. 

Protecting against the onslaught: Many street harassers berate victims when turned down.

Right away, I heard the man begin yelling at me from behind. From the sound of it, he had stopped on the sidewalk behind me. I didn’t slow to try to catch what he said, but it was clear I was being called a “white bitch”– at least a few times

The incident shows how street harassment is not an isolated event, or something to be brushed off as “not a big deal.” Instead, it functions within larger contexts of power regarding race, class, sex and gender. As noted by Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw, the intersection(s) of race and gender often (if not always) play an extraordinary role in sexual harassment.

First, what does it mean when a woman is called a “bitch” for responding to street harassment? What does that say about the options women have in responding to harassment?

Many women like myself struggle with the Catch-22 of responding versus not responding to vulgar words thrown at them: “Is it best for me to say nothing and feel like a passive victim (note: this is how I often feel when I don’t respond, but this is not true for everyone or every scenario), or is it best to be assertive and be labeled a ‘bitch?’” I often find myself thinking, “Which of these scenarios will ruin my day LESS?”

So what did this harasser accomplish here, at least for me?  In “Black Sexual Politics,” feminist theorist Patricia Hill Collins argues that ”the term bitch is designed to put women in their place.” By calling me a bitch – a deeply misogynistic term – the harasser put me in “my place” as inferior to, or beneath him, based on my sex. According to Collins, “One sign of a ‘Bitch’s’ power is her manipulation of her own sexuality for her own gain. Bitches control men, or at least try to, using their bodies as weapons.” In other words, my speaking out against this man’s sexual objectification of my body was a threat to him — it represented my denial of his power and control over my sexuality — and explains his injured rebuke. He called me a bitch in order to invalidate my objection to his behavior on the basis that I was, according to definitions by Urban Dictionary, nothing but an “annoying and whiny female.” He was punishing me for speaking out.

Street harassment and intersectionality

This sexism was in place when the harasser first addressed me. In order to have found it acceptable to wag his finger at me and sexualize my body to fellow passersby on the street, he had to have certain feelings about women – specifically about how he had the “right” to judge their bodies publicly, what he was allowed to say to them, and  – perhaps most importantly – how they should receive his judgment. (I guess I was supposed to smile graciously and say, “THANKS!”). But for me, his comment wasn’t a “compliment” and it wasn’t harmless – I saw it as coming from a point of male privilege in which he felt entitled to publicly judge, comment on, and sexualize my body. This type of entitlement often extends to forms of physical violence.

But I wasn’t just ANY old bitch – I was a “white” bitch. For this man, my race (or at least what he read as my race) played a role in my bitchiness. Our friends at Urban Dictionary define a “white bitch,” (ie me) as a:

  1. Woman of caucasian (sic) extraction who thinks she is more atractive (sic) than she is.
  2. White woman with unwarranted confidence.

Add that little bonus of “white”  bitch, and my objection to his sexual harassment was even more invalid because, as the stereotype holds, white bitches are full of themselves and…let’s be honest…not even that hot anyway. “Calm the f*ck down, not-that-hot white bitch!!”

Why did this harasser mention my race? What significance did this have for him? While I don’t share his male privilege, as a white woman, I have white privilege – something he did not. According to Hawley Fogg Davis, “The stereotype of black men as sexual predators, especially of white women, has historically rendered black men the targets of lynching, and other forms of punishment, humiliation, and surveillance.” By calling me a white bitch, was the harasser hinting at this unequal (and unjust) racist history? Was he trying to shift the power dynamic?

It’s hard to come up with a constructive way to respond to street harassment — or at least one that sits right with you (which is all that matters!). So I hate that the response that often makes me feel the most empowered — assertively labeling the behavior as harassment — ended up with me being insulted. For me, calling out street and sexual harassment is a way to give myself voice and break the sexual objectification I am feeling. But for many women, it’s more empowering to not reply at all — a way to not engage with behavior they don’t support. What’s more, each and every incident is different. Bottom line: Street harassment is complex, and so is responding to it.

Why are racial descriptors so commonly (at least in my experience) tagged onto sexist slurs? How does my experience differ for women of color and varying races? What are other ways in which street harassment becomes racialized? How do YOU typically respond to harassment? What response makes YOU feel empowered? Share your thoughts with us in the comments here, and share your stories by submitting to our site.  In the meantime, you can find some tips for responding to street harassment here.

The phrase “Stop harassing women!” is an expert-recommended response to catcalling and sexual harassment. To learn more, check out “Back Off: How to Confront and Stop Sexual Harassment and Harassers,” by anti-harassment expert (and friend of CASS!), Martha Langelan. It’s currently in stock at MLK Library.

Renee Davidson is New Media Director at Collective Action for Safe Spaces. Follow her at @reneetheorizes and @safespacesdc.


MORE FROM “My Streets, Too”:

ABOUT “MY STREETS, TOO”

“My Streets, Too” is CASS’s ongoing series on personal writings on street harassment by members of the DC community. Email Renee to submit writings using your full name, initials, or anonymously (just let us know). Please be sure to use the subject line “My Streets, Too.”

“When I ignored him, he grew annoyed and said, ‘You a ugly b****.’”

Bloomingdale neighborhood, DC

Location: Bloomingdale
Time: Evening Rush Hour (3:30pm-7:30pm)

I was walking home from work and around Rhode Island Ave. and First St. NW, I saw a group of 3-4 young men standing on the sidewalk. I looked straight ahead without making eye contact as I walked past them. One of the men tried to get my attention by asking me how I was doing. Like always, I chose not to respond, as it tends to encourage them. When I ignored him, he grew annoyed and said, “You a ugly bitch.”

Submitted on 7/17/12 by “Anonymous”

If you experience or have experienced sexual harassment on the DC Metro system:
Please consider reporting to Metro Transit Police: www.wmata.com/harassment; 202-962-2121.

Do you have a personal experience with gender-based public sexual harassment or assault? Submit your story to help raise awareness about the pervasiveness and harmful effects of street harassment. All submissions are posted anonymously unless otherwise specified.

Hey Sweetheart

I was crossing the street when a man leaned out the window to yell at me. “hey sweetheart. Hi sweetheart.” when I didn’t respond, he yelled “just say hi. Just look at me “. When I still didnt he screamed “fuck you” and drive off, but not before I heard him call me a bitch for not acknowledging him.

Location: 10th and Florida NE

Time of harassment: Day Time (9:30A-3:30P)

Do you have a personal experience with gender-based public sexual harassment or assault you would like to submit? Just click here and fill out the online submission form. All submissions are posted anonymously unless you specify.

I’m Not for Sale

I’m walking up Harassment Hill to meet some friends for dinner and I’m talking on my cell phone. As soon as I get off my phone, a guy stops right in front of me and says “Damn girl, you’re fine. How much would it be for your body?” I cannot even believe my ears. Did this guy really just imply that he could buy my body? I give him my “don’t mess with me look” which prompts him to call me bitch. What the heck!?

Submitted by Anonymous

Have a story you would like to submit? Just click here and fill out the online submission form. All stories will be posted anonymously unless you specify.