“I’d f— that so hard her head would spin.”

Location: Dupont Circle
Time:  Daytime (9:30am-3:30pm)

This happened a few years back, but I thought a lot about it recently and how much it irked me. I was new to DC (hadn’t officially moved here yet, but was exploring the city after my final interview with a company), and exploring Dupont Circle. As I walked, I heard two guys behind me, clearly talking about me. One went “Look at that ass in front of you!” and the other replied “I’d f— that so hard her head would spin.”

I turned around to judge them with a withering glare, if not some verbal response since I was fresh off learning about Hollaback!, but as soon as I turned, one of them looked me right in the eyes and went “nevermind, she’s a grenade.” This was around the peak of popularity of the (unfortunate) show Jersey Shore, so he and I both know exactly what he meant.

I gave them both that withering stare, then walked into a coffee shop to recover.

If I were the person that I am now, I would’ve let them have it.

Submitted 1/10/16 by “S.G.”

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