“excuse me, your arm!”

I was on the bus towards Annandale to take another bus home. A guy sat next to me and proceeded to tap away on his cellphone. While he was he doing that, his elbow was digging into my side. Apparently, he doesn’t know about personal space. Now I’m a big girl and I tried to scoop myself over so I don’t take up two seats however this guy’s elbow was clearly digging in my side. Finally, I said “excuse me, your arm!” He had the nerve to act offended. He moved over a bit, relax his arm and gave me a dirty look. Keep looking asshole. If you don’t like it, go sit somewhere else.

Submitted by Sophia on 5/10/2010

Location: Annanadale

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9 Responses

  1. cathy

    and you just know he wouldn’t do that to a guy. :/

  2. Golden Silence

    If you don’t like it, go sit somewhere else.

    Yes! You tell him.

    I notice that guys tend to unnecessarily take up space on the buses and trains. I’m not talking about giants, I’m talking about average-sized guys who have above-average ego. The leg spreading, putting their arms around the next to them, etc. I notice women, on the other hand, doing everything in their power to shrink themselves, sitting so compactly.

    I may be a small woman, but I never let these men physically intimidate me. Years back when some guy did the leg spread and was pushing his foot close to mine as he did it, I pushed right back. Dude, I paid the fare like you and deserve to have a decent ride to where I’m going. Respect my space and I’ll respect yours.

  3. Steve

    What does this have to do with harassment?

    • cindel

      Why are you questioning what’s harassment?

      The guy blatantly disregard the OP and invaded her personal space. Did you miss the part where his elbow was digging into her side? That’s assault. Just another privilege person who thinks he’s entitled to do what he wants with no respect for other people.

      • Madison

        I’m sorry, but it’s not assault, and I don’t think it is harassment either. It is incredibly rude, and sadly common on the metro for people of all genders to get a little careless with their elbows, but to compare this to the other stories of street harassment posted here is wrong.

        Including a story like this here undermines the very real instances of harassment that occur every day, and that are chillingly documented on this blog.

        Harassment is at core an act of domination and aggression, whereas this sounds like an act of rudeness and obtuseness.

  4. really?

    You’ve never had the woman with the purse or multiple bags put them in the seat next to her on a crowded bus or train and give everyone on the bus the “I dare you to try to ask me to move my crap” look? Bc its a daily occurrence in my world…

    • Golden Silence

      Stop with the “women do it too” mess. Taking up an extra seat with a bunch of bags is rude and annoying, but how does that constitute harassment? She wasn’t deliberately jamming her elbow into someone’s arm and invading someone’s personal space.

      • Anonymous

        While I agree that taking up an extra seat with a bunch of bags does not constitute harassment, I’m not certain that the behavior described above does either.

        Both would seem to be examples of rudeness, more than harassment.

  5. really?

    I didnt say it constituted harassment. I was sharing with you how men are jerks by spreading themselves out so wide so no one will sit down next to them and women put bags on the seat next to them to keep people from sitting next to them. Heck, guys put bags in the seat next to them. Its not intimidation – its just rude.