Last week we received a post from an individual asking the community how do you respond to harassment? We received some really great comments and ideas so we thought we should share our own thoughts on responding to street harassment.
At HBDC! we strongly believe in using nonviolent methods to engage our oppressors. The tips we teach at our HBDC! trainings and workshops are the methods we learned from our Shero Marty Langelan, who has given us permission to use them on our blog and in our trainings. We HIGHLY recommend her book Back Off! for a more in depth look on various methods to address street harassment as well as the history of street harassment.
Remember to only engage when you feel safe and when you feel like saying something. There is no right or wrong way to address street harassment and whatever your reaction is, is okay.
Try out one of these methods from Marty and let us know how it goes!
a. Name the behavior. Describe exactly what the harasser is doing, stating behavior (“you are exposing yourself”), principle (“this is about respect”) and a direct command (“put that penis back in your pants right now”).
b. Interrupt the harasser with this all-purpose statement: “Stop harassing. I don’t like it—no one likes it. Show some respect.”
c. Put up a “stop sign.” Put your hands in front of your chest, palms out, look the harasser in the eye and say, “Stop right there.” (If the harasser doesn’t stop, you know it is time for you to get out of there!)
d. Make an A-B-C statement. “When you do A [when you say “hey sexy” for example], the effect is B [it makes me uncomfortable] and I want C [from now on just say “hello”].”
e. Ask a Socratic question. (One of our personal favorites.) “That’s so interesting—can you explain why you think you can put your hand on my leg?” The more idiotic the action the more impossible it will be for the harasser to explain.
Finally, if you are in danger and you are attacked, yelling “HELP!” (soft consonant sounds) has no power.
“KI-YA! IT’S AN ATTACK! CALL THE COPS!” The bite of the “K” sound gets the message across loud and clear.