Charming and Handsome Attacker

posted in: NOVA, WMATA | 4

Yesterday, after being told that my job would be ending next week, I went to a friend’s house for the evening for some cheering up. I left her house near the Cathedral at 11:15pm and took a cab to the Foggy Bottom metro. I was on the platform, waiting for the last train of the night, when I saw a handsome, well-dressed guy about my age walk by once, then twice. He then sat down on the same bench as me, but said nothing. A few minutes later, he got up and stood on the platform about 3 feet in front of me, facing me. When the train pulled up, he got in one car, and I got in the one behind (I have no idea why I did that, must have been instinct kicking in!).

When I got to the West Falls Church metro stop, I walked up the escalator and saw him at the gate. He stopped to talk to the station manager because his Smart Trip wasn’t working. Once he passed through the gates he sort of just stood around for a minute. When I went to go through t he gate, my Smart Trip didn’t work either, so I also had to talk to the station manager. While this happened, the guy remained standing on the other side of the gate. Once I got through, he approached me immediately and started talking to me in a thick accent.

He was friendly and flirty, and I was (stupidly) disarmed by him starting up a conversation. As we walked towards the garage, he asked me if I would like to have dinner with him at the end of the week. He asked for my phone number, and I said I would take his. When I hit the elevator button for my floor, he said he was going to the same floor. We got out of the elevator and I walked towards my car, which is when he told me that he hadn’t driven, but wanted to walk with me. Instead of thinking “this is bad news bears”, I convinced myself that it was nice of him to walk me to my car. When we got to my car, he again asked for my number, after refusing to give me his, and I (again, STUPIDLY) gave it to him. I told him I was leaving, and he said “why don’t I come to your house with you? I don’t have a car, let me get in your car”. I told him that was not happening, and unlocked my driver’s side door.

He tried to hug me and I put my hands up. He then moved in front of the door, so he was blocking it, grabbed my breast, and forcefully pulled me to him and tried to kiss me. I was able to shove him away, get in the car, and immediately lock the door and drive away. I contacted both Metro police and Fairfax County police, who are taking reports from me this evening when I get out of work.

I felt so silly for not getting away from him sooner, and I was so terrified when it happened. I’m normally very aware of my surroundings, and make sure my safety is a priority. I was just so distracted by my impending unemployment, that I guess I let my guard down. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. My mind was racing with “This can’t be happening to me, how am I going to get away fr om him? Oh My God, what is he going to do?!” I was alone in a garage with this man, who was blocking my car door, without another person in sight, and my cell phone battery was dead. I was very lucky that I got away unscathed.

I wanted to post a description of him here, and to urge everyone to trust your gut feelings… and to carry mace (and keep your cell phone charged!). Description: Said he was 24 years old. Told me he was Egyptian and that his name was “Ibrahim” or “Abraham”. Tall, slender, and handsome (just goes to show you, charming and handsome DOES NOT mean safe!). Dark, close-cropped wavy/curly hair, dark eyes, very thick accent, blue button down shirt, black pants.

Be careful, ladies.

Location: West Falls Church Metro

Submitted by Emily on 9/17/09

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4 Responses

  1. Mazzie
    | Reply

    Emily,

    I’m glad you’re okay and that you reported it to the police.

    It saddens me to see so much self blame. You didn’t do anything wrong. As a matter of fact, as seen in some comments on recent entries, women who shut men down immediately are often cast as cold, cynical, and – our favorite – bitches.

    I came across this on twitter and wanted to share:

    Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

    1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

    2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

    3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

    4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

    5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

    6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

    7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

    8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

    9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

    10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

    And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.

    http://nonotyou.tumblr.com/post/168208983/sexual-assault-prevention-tips-guaranteed-to-work

  2. Golden Silence
    | Reply

    To the men who complain that we women only get offended by harassment if the harasser’s not attractive, this story proves otherwise.

    I am so sorry this happened to you, Emily. Don’t put the blame on yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong.

  3. […] 25, 2009 · 1 Comment I had submitted a post last week entitled “Charming and Handsome Attacker“, and I’m so happy to tell you all that he has been CAUGHT! It’s funny, the thing […]

  4. roula
    | Reply

    Hey, I know this was posted a while ago, but I’m really shocked and upset for you Emily, and it made me sad that you sound like you’re calling yourself stupid for this dbag’s dbagginess. I read the follow-up and am really glad the police took it seriously and helped you out.

    Your story made me think of this post I read recently — not plugging my own blog or anything, I don’t know the person who writes it! It’s about how women are told and trained to be “nice” and receptive to strangers and get called “paranoid” when they’re not, except when something happens and then they “weren’t careful enough”.
    http://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/06/26/another-post-about-rape-3/

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